So the first month of this year, I took this Art of Living course. I never used to find such courses credible enough. However, after a suggestion from a friend, I thought why not give it a try. After all, nothing to lose.
It was a 5 day course, each day extended 3-4 hours. Apparently, this is what they claim one would learn,
* Practices that heal and harmonize the body, mind, and spirit
* Skills for handling negative emotions and situations
* Practical wisdom for improving work and relationships
* Insight into the laws that govern the mind and emotions
* Stretching and low-impact yoga for health, circulation, and body stillness
So what is my take on it after completing the course? It did have some positive effects (even if those were very minimal). The course really made me aware of one very important aspect of my being - my breath. It was really interesting to be very conscious of my breath. Did I benefit from all what they claim? Probably not. However, it may be really person specific. I def. would encourage people to try it out.
The best part of the course was the community service which we performed. We were able to raise about $750($1500 total after our amount was matched by a charitable organization) for the earthquake victims in Haiti (in just 2 hours). :)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
after a break...
so i dont have any excuse to give for not posting anything for a long time...anyways...i guess a lot has happened since i posted last...so i'll try to post several short "posts" in the next couple of days...
also ill try to be more regular....i'll really try... past one year, there has been a paradigm shift in my life and i am trying to sort all that...hopefully i can use this blog more effectively in expressing my inner feelings out...as of few weeks back, i have started a new life...but like every newborn baby starting a new life, i feel confused, things around me look hazy and i started it by crying...
also ill try to be more regular....i'll really try... past one year, there has been a paradigm shift in my life and i am trying to sort all that...hopefully i can use this blog more effectively in expressing my inner feelings out...as of few weeks back, i have started a new life...but like every newborn baby starting a new life, i feel confused, things around me look hazy and i started it by crying...
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
2010
So finally we hit 2010....
this new year hasn't been the best so far...the year started by the demise of a dear one...though she was not keeping so well, i felt it happened a bit too suddenly...May her soul rest in peace...Aita, you will be missed...!
For some reason 2010 doesn't seem to excite me...as each day of 2010 passes by, i just start to lose faith in things more...i start to become less human and more machine...i just hope its a phase....
So do i have a new year resolution?....yes....but i'm not spitting it out here...
this new year hasn't been the best so far...the year started by the demise of a dear one...though she was not keeping so well, i felt it happened a bit too suddenly...May her soul rest in peace...Aita, you will be missed...!
For some reason 2010 doesn't seem to excite me...as each day of 2010 passes by, i just start to lose faith in things more...i start to become less human and more machine...i just hope its a phase....
So do i have a new year resolution?....yes....but i'm not spitting it out here...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
old stuff...
went through my old emails in hotmail...like really old..way back in 2002, 2003...
gosh...felt strange reading a few of them...its been what almost 7-8 years now...
how things have change...so much!
gosh...felt strange reading a few of them...its been what almost 7-8 years now...
how things have change...so much!
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Birthday!!!
So finally it's my birthday! ... and I turn 25! 25!!!! O gosh, I feel old!
My birthday went quite nice. The previous night (i.e. 25th) was SA's birthday, so that evening, we went out for dinner with friends. SA and I decided that we would treat them. The food was really good (there goes my gymming!). After dinner, we had about 2 hours before the clock struck 12! We walked a little bit in downtown SJ before we rushed backed home. It was obvious that these folks had something up their sleeves for my birthday and I did not even pretend to act ignorant.
At midnight, all my friends gathered at my place. The feeling of hearing knocks on my door was just so blissful. They got the most awesome ice-cream cake till date. People were hesitant to apply it on my face so that they can eat the most out of it, lol! However, having said that, AS and DB took their revenge and decorated my face with cake quite appropriately.
Uske baad, I started to unpack the gifts:). I was so excited. Even though I turned 25, the child in me still remained. I got t-shirts, key-chain, american football(i dont know why i got that since i never played tht sport..lol),etc,etc.
Apart from these, my friends made a special blog for me on my birthday. Many people left birthday messages on that blog. That was something I did not expect at all! It was really special. SS made my bday even special by making a very sweet video of the good memories in the past few years. I never felt so important in recent times:)
After the gift opening ceremony, everyone started sharing their thoughts about me. This has been the tradition over here in our birthdays, where everyone would talk about what they feel towards the birthday boy/girl. And needless to say, I was flattered to hear what all I heard!..lol!....
My friends left around 1-2am in the morning. Uske baad, I went to my room and opened my parents gift. They had packed gifts for me when I had come to M in March. They were like,"open it on your birthday" lol! There were quite a few gifts from them..tshirt, shirts, perfumes...:) It was really nice!
Next day (the actual day of my birthday), I woke up early around 10ish. Spent the morning with myself. In the evening, DB,TA,AS and I went out for dinner. I treated them (which was a surprise to them :) since they were planning on treating me..). We ended my birthday by going to a club. Had a good time there. Danced and danced and danced...
On the whole as I look back, I think this birthday has been one of the better birthdays in the past 2 years. I did wish certain people were with me on my birthday. Khair...jo bhi....
Happy Birthday Anshu!
Btw, I think a birthday is as special to the mom as it is to the child..it was on this day that she gave birth to her child...so Ma...I love you loads!
My birthday went quite nice. The previous night (i.e. 25th) was SA's birthday, so that evening, we went out for dinner with friends. SA and I decided that we would treat them. The food was really good (there goes my gymming!). After dinner, we had about 2 hours before the clock struck 12! We walked a little bit in downtown SJ before we rushed backed home. It was obvious that these folks had something up their sleeves for my birthday and I did not even pretend to act ignorant.
At midnight, all my friends gathered at my place. The feeling of hearing knocks on my door was just so blissful. They got the most awesome ice-cream cake till date. People were hesitant to apply it on my face so that they can eat the most out of it, lol! However, having said that, AS and DB took their revenge and decorated my face with cake quite appropriately.
Uske baad, I started to unpack the gifts:). I was so excited. Even though I turned 25, the child in me still remained. I got t-shirts, key-chain, american football(i dont know why i got that since i never played tht sport..lol),etc,etc.
Apart from these, my friends made a special blog for me on my birthday. Many people left birthday messages on that blog. That was something I did not expect at all! It was really special. SS made my bday even special by making a very sweet video of the good memories in the past few years. I never felt so important in recent times:)
After the gift opening ceremony, everyone started sharing their thoughts about me. This has been the tradition over here in our birthdays, where everyone would talk about what they feel towards the birthday boy/girl. And needless to say, I was flattered to hear what all I heard!..lol!....
My friends left around 1-2am in the morning. Uske baad, I went to my room and opened my parents gift. They had packed gifts for me when I had come to M in March. They were like,"open it on your birthday" lol! There were quite a few gifts from them..tshirt, shirts, perfumes...:) It was really nice!
Next day (the actual day of my birthday), I woke up early around 10ish. Spent the morning with myself. In the evening, DB,TA,AS and I went out for dinner. I treated them (which was a surprise to them :) since they were planning on treating me..). We ended my birthday by going to a club. Had a good time there. Danced and danced and danced...
On the whole as I look back, I think this birthday has been one of the better birthdays in the past 2 years. I did wish certain people were with me on my birthday. Khair...jo bhi....
Happy Birthday Anshu!
Btw, I think a birthday is as special to the mom as it is to the child..it was on this day that she gave birth to her child...so Ma...I love you loads!
Friday, September 25, 2009
One day before D day!
Today was SA's birthday and we celebrated it with style. Got cake, chips, drinks and most importantly amazing company. The best part was when everyone gave their 'speech' about SA...it was just so touching....
On a different note, today is a day before D day and I don't know what to feel. I have always been so excited for this day. Every year, since childhood, I would be waiting for this. I remember, in school, I used to dress up so nicely - I would wear coloured dresses (non-uniform). And I would take lots and lots of chocolates for my classmates and teachers. I used to just enjoy the attention I would get - everyone would notice this one guy who dressed differently from the others - the coloured dressing just made it so obvious. Everyone in the corridor passing by would mumble the soft "Happy Birthday". I used to feel like a prince. And then during recess, I would take my box of chocolates and distribute around. There were some who would so cutely ask me, "A**** one more please" and I would so proudly oblige. I was known to be really generious. lol.... Those were such nice innocent times.
And now, things seem so different. For the past 2 years, my BD has been not quite like I wished it to be. Honestly speaking, I have people around me, but somewhere deep within I seem to have lost my youth. Honestly speaking, I feel really really lonely and I miss my parents a lot. My existance perhaps matters only to them and no one else.
Sometimes, I wonder how it would be if I was not here, but somewhere else or perhaps in India. Sometimes, I want to be with someone but I can't be. Sometimes, you don't realize it before it is too late of what you could have had.
But the fact is that, I am not anywhere else but here. I am not with that someone. I realized it too late. And now I have lost it. But Life... still has to go on.
So I hope tommorow, I can begin a new day, with a new hope and new life in me and not make the mistakes I made earlier.....
On a different note, today is a day before D day and I don't know what to feel. I have always been so excited for this day. Every year, since childhood, I would be waiting for this. I remember, in school, I used to dress up so nicely - I would wear coloured dresses (non-uniform). And I would take lots and lots of chocolates for my classmates and teachers. I used to just enjoy the attention I would get - everyone would notice this one guy who dressed differently from the others - the coloured dressing just made it so obvious. Everyone in the corridor passing by would mumble the soft "Happy Birthday". I used to feel like a prince. And then during recess, I would take my box of chocolates and distribute around. There were some who would so cutely ask me, "A**** one more please" and I would so proudly oblige. I was known to be really generious. lol.... Those were such nice innocent times.
And now, things seem so different. For the past 2 years, my BD has been not quite like I wished it to be. Honestly speaking, I have people around me, but somewhere deep within I seem to have lost my youth. Honestly speaking, I feel really really lonely and I miss my parents a lot. My existance perhaps matters only to them and no one else.
Sometimes, I wonder how it would be if I was not here, but somewhere else or perhaps in India. Sometimes, I want to be with someone but I can't be. Sometimes, you don't realize it before it is too late of what you could have had.
But the fact is that, I am not anywhere else but here. I am not with that someone. I realized it too late. And now I have lost it. But Life... still has to go on.
So I hope tommorow, I can begin a new day, with a new hope and new life in me and not make the mistakes I made earlier.....
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
You belong with me!
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do
I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me
Monday, September 7, 2009
Nature's Beauty
So yesterday, KB, SS, GT and I went out for a hike to this national park out here. This place is famous for Redwood forest. I was pretty excited to go there because I wanted to go away from the usual day to day activities and blend with nature (it also helps me meditate). We left at around noon and reached there at 2pm. It's this huge forest next to the ocean. We thought of taking this trail that reaches the beach. I had a really good time with these folks. We sang, we danced and we did all kinds of masti on our way. The hike was quite strenuous and we could not complete it since it was getting dark. We returned halfway and by evening time, we were all drained out.
On our way back, the weather was really interesting. The whole SF city and the GGB was covered with cloud and I must say it has been the most beautiful view I have ever seen of the GGB covered with clouds. We took this drive up the hill where we could see the bridge from the top and it looked quite spectacular. Just felt like heaven. Seriously. I must say that we are fortunate enough to live in such a beautiful place.
We stopped at an Indian place to have some delicious desi chaats! The server there was really charming:) lol and GT and I were contemplating which part of India she would be from. After our meal, I asked her where she was from and she said that she was half black and half Syrian. Ok, there goes our speculation for a six!
Well, i am so happy tomorrow is a holiday! can sleep as much i want...and o ya...i will update photos on facebook. do have a look ;)
On our way back, the weather was really interesting. The whole SF city and the GGB was covered with cloud and I must say it has been the most beautiful view I have ever seen of the GGB covered with clouds. We took this drive up the hill where we could see the bridge from the top and it looked quite spectacular. Just felt like heaven. Seriously. I must say that we are fortunate enough to live in such a beautiful place.
We stopped at an Indian place to have some delicious desi chaats! The server there was really charming:) lol and GT and I were contemplating which part of India she would be from. After our meal, I asked her where she was from and she said that she was half black and half Syrian. Ok, there goes our speculation for a six!
Well, i am so happy tomorrow is a holiday! can sleep as much i want...and o ya...i will update photos on facebook. do have a look ;)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Why do "words speak more than action"?
There is this friend I have and I really care for her. However, a few days back, she said something that really hurt me. She said that I am not her "closest" friend anymore. I seem to just be like any of her usual friends. And the reason for that? Is because, one day when she had called me up when she was upset and wanted to regain a friendship from me, I said that "Best friendship" cannot happen in a single day. Apparently, this had a huge huge impact on her.
Now the thing is, I might have said that to her and might have said to her due to some of my inner frustrations within me, that's true, but my action towards her till date reflect how much I care for her and how I treasure her friendship with me. I don't want to boast or something, but I have seriously cared for her and done a lot for her. And I did that, because I always thought of her as a best friend.
Par phir, why does all these actions do not seem to mean anything to her. Why does that one statement of mine, which I said, had a bigger impact than all the "actions" I have been doing for her. Why doesn't all this impact her equally?
I thought "Action speaks more than words"? Why does it seem to be the other way round here!
Now the thing is, I might have said that to her and might have said to her due to some of my inner frustrations within me, that's true, but my action towards her till date reflect how much I care for her and how I treasure her friendship with me. I don't want to boast or something, but I have seriously cared for her and done a lot for her. And I did that, because I always thought of her as a best friend.
Par phir, why does all these actions do not seem to mean anything to her. Why does that one statement of mine, which I said, had a bigger impact than all the "actions" I have been doing for her. Why doesn't all this impact her equally?
I thought "Action speaks more than words"? Why does it seem to be the other way round here!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Girls seriously!!!!
Ok...so i know majority of my blog is read by female members. This post may be have a negative connotation to them but i just want to have a "disclaimer" that there are certainly exceptions and what i am going to mention is some sort of generalization (which perhaps i should not make since my sample size is really small) from what i have seen and the girls i have interacted with...
so ya...i think going back to my original context...i think Girls really need to GROW UP and start acting mature!!!! the other day, I was talking to a friend of mine and I was just stunned at the stuff she was talking in context to her past relationship...i was like "how can you do that.. That is JUST WRONG!" and all she could say was "Well I know, but I couldn't help it"... I mean come on! ....if u cant help it then u dont deserve to be in a relationship...think of the other person in the relationship and what he would go thru because of this behavior!!!
Gosh...I am so pissed off with the female members of the human populations! and too bad i would need to love one of them!
We all say Girls are emotionally more mature and all, but from my experience, I think girls cannot even control their minds!!! One day, they are into something, and the very next moment, they go into something else!!! God Dammit! Did you gals hear something called self-control and maturity!!!!
I have seen it with two girls whom i know quite close...the way they have dealt relationships is just WRONG and immature! They have NO RIGHT to play with a GUYS feeling like that!
Jab Guys move away from the relationship, then the whole world thinks that the guy is a cheat! But when Girls do the say, then o well, its some emotional crap which guys need to understand and cooperate...wt hypocrisy!!!!
all i want to say is just imagine yourself in the guys shoes...wt if ur guy treated u like tht...how would you feel? how wd u like it if the guy u loved so much one day dumps u just because he was "out" of it....
so ya...i think going back to my original context...i think Girls really need to GROW UP and start acting mature!!!! the other day, I was talking to a friend of mine and I was just stunned at the stuff she was talking in context to her past relationship...i was like "how can you do that.. That is JUST WRONG!" and all she could say was "Well I know, but I couldn't help it"... I mean come on! ....if u cant help it then u dont deserve to be in a relationship...think of the other person in the relationship and what he would go thru because of this behavior!!!
Gosh...I am so pissed off with the female members of the human populations! and too bad i would need to love one of them!
We all say Girls are emotionally more mature and all, but from my experience, I think girls cannot even control their minds!!! One day, they are into something, and the very next moment, they go into something else!!! God Dammit! Did you gals hear something called self-control and maturity!!!!
I have seen it with two girls whom i know quite close...the way they have dealt relationships is just WRONG and immature! They have NO RIGHT to play with a GUYS feeling like that!
Jab Guys move away from the relationship, then the whole world thinks that the guy is a cheat! But when Girls do the say, then o well, its some emotional crap which guys need to understand and cooperate...wt hypocrisy!!!!
all i want to say is just imagine yourself in the guys shoes...wt if ur guy treated u like tht...how would you feel? how wd u like it if the guy u loved so much one day dumps u just because he was "out" of it....
Friday, August 14, 2009
As it comes to an end, i have no more tears left
im really tired and exhausted now...at the same time i am feeling very strange and sad...
for the past few months i had been planning something....something i had been so much looking forward to...'the past three days'...
and now....after these three days... it is hard for me to grasp tht its over...i mean...something i have been waiting for all this while ....and now its over and finished...
the three days werent bad...it was actually nice... but wt im feeling strange is at the fact that it just flew by and tht its all over..tht something, which i have been waiting for ages, just seemed to blaze by...talk about relativity!!!...im back to S***** and I have to return to my usual workplace tomorrow....
the past few days brought in a lot of emotions in me...but i had no one to express it out... i wanted to cry out loud but i realized i had no more tears left in me...just absolutely no more! i just want to go back to those good old days...plz...its killing me from within...its literally killing me...
for the past few months i had been planning something....something i had been so much looking forward to...'the past three days'...
and now....after these three days... it is hard for me to grasp tht its over...i mean...something i have been waiting for all this while ....and now its over and finished...
the three days werent bad...it was actually nice... but wt im feeling strange is at the fact that it just flew by and tht its all over..tht something, which i have been waiting for ages, just seemed to blaze by...talk about relativity!!!...im back to S***** and I have to return to my usual workplace tomorrow....
the past few days brought in a lot of emotions in me...but i had no one to express it out... i wanted to cry out loud but i realized i had no more tears left in me...just absolutely no more! i just want to go back to those good old days...plz...its killing me from within...its literally killing me...
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Selfishness...
So today I woke up with such a weird feeling.... first of all i woke up kinda late that pissed me off since i thought ill wake up a bit early to get some of my work done and then i see all these weird dreams!
anyhow...i have met some people i so much wish i never ever met.... i cant believe how such people could ever exist...just pure selfish! ... apparently, they dont care about anything else except their own lives... they dont even have the "common courtesy" towards friends! As a friend...i dont even expect much, but when that friend's attitude turns out to be 'like that', it just purely disgust me...
i just feel so sorry for them...
anyhow...i have met some people i so much wish i never ever met.... i cant believe how such people could ever exist...just pure selfish! ... apparently, they dont care about anything else except their own lives... they dont even have the "common courtesy" towards friends! As a friend...i dont even expect much, but when that friend's attitude turns out to be 'like that', it just purely disgust me...
i just feel so sorry for them...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Past one month!
Hello Everyone everyone everyone..!!
finally....i am writing here after ages....so sorry to my blog readers!
Last one month was super busy!...But ya...no excuse ...
so what happened last one month? many things!.... my parents were here....my aunt and uncle were here...and it was amazing..it was too much fun....their visit just made me feel that is duniya mein koi toh hai who is my own...
khair...so dad was the first one to be here...11th of june... he saw the graduation ceremony this year (he couldnt see it last year) and that was really nice... ma joined two weeks later... it was really nice to have a family reunion...we went to vegas one weekend...mom was awed by the magnificence of the hotel...we (or rather I) played some blackjack...i won some...but lost too...so net even!
the first week of july...my aunt(mom's elder sister) and uncle had come for a week...
everyone stayed in my apartment... we went to pier 39 for 4th of july and it was great to see the crowd...though the fireworks were quite disappointing (blame it on the recession or i dont know what)...
mom left 8th july and dad left the week after.... i was so used to them being at home... that now their absence just makes me feel ajeeb... i so much miss the ghar ka khana... it was just too good to come home for lunch to see the yummy food on the table...
in short...i think their trip was a very memorable one...i could have been a bit less busy..especially during that first week of july...i got so busy with my tapeout that it got a little bit difficult to entertain aunty/uncle as well as complete my tapeout...
anyways...i really enjoyed my time with ma and papa..and now i am realizing that they are becoming more dependent on me and it gives me this sense of responsibility to take care of them...thts life i guess...at one point of time, i used be taken care by them and now slowly as people grow old, the role starts reversing... i just want to tell ma and dad that I LOVE YOU..and i love you loadssssss!!!!!
on a different note....many "other" things are happening too... no girlfriend business though....lol !... but got in touch with some "old" people... dont know if its for the good or bad... we'll see....
career wise...my internship started and i am liking it...its always good when the cash starts flowing eh...lol...jokes apart..but i think my project is a challenging one - elimination of jitter due to power supply noise...o gosh damnit...why did God have to add "noise" to power supply and why is it random!
guess thats it for now...ill try to be more regular with my blogging!
ps: now that i just proofread my blog...i realized the clutterness in my content...aah well...im too lazy to edit now :)
finally....i am writing here after ages....so sorry to my blog readers!
Last one month was super busy!...But ya...no excuse ...
so what happened last one month? many things!.... my parents were here....my aunt and uncle were here...and it was amazing..it was too much fun....their visit just made me feel that is duniya mein koi toh hai who is my own...
khair...so dad was the first one to be here...11th of june... he saw the graduation ceremony this year (he couldnt see it last year) and that was really nice... ma joined two weeks later... it was really nice to have a family reunion...we went to vegas one weekend...mom was awed by the magnificence of the hotel...we (or rather I) played some blackjack...i won some...but lost too...so net even!
the first week of july...my aunt(mom's elder sister) and uncle had come for a week...
everyone stayed in my apartment... we went to pier 39 for 4th of july and it was great to see the crowd...though the fireworks were quite disappointing (blame it on the recession or i dont know what)...
mom left 8th july and dad left the week after.... i was so used to them being at home... that now their absence just makes me feel ajeeb... i so much miss the ghar ka khana... it was just too good to come home for lunch to see the yummy food on the table...
in short...i think their trip was a very memorable one...i could have been a bit less busy..especially during that first week of july...i got so busy with my tapeout that it got a little bit difficult to entertain aunty/uncle as well as complete my tapeout...
anyways...i really enjoyed my time with ma and papa..and now i am realizing that they are becoming more dependent on me and it gives me this sense of responsibility to take care of them...thts life i guess...at one point of time, i used be taken care by them and now slowly as people grow old, the role starts reversing... i just want to tell ma and dad that I LOVE YOU..and i love you loadssssss!!!!!
on a different note....many "other" things are happening too... no girlfriend business though....lol !... but got in touch with some "old" people... dont know if its for the good or bad... we'll see....
career wise...my internship started and i am liking it...its always good when the cash starts flowing eh...lol...jokes apart..but i think my project is a challenging one - elimination of jitter due to power supply noise...o gosh damnit...why did God have to add "noise" to power supply and why is it random!
guess thats it for now...ill try to be more regular with my blogging!
ps: now that i just proofread my blog...i realized the clutterness in my content...aah well...im too lazy to edit now :)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Will be back!
Hello everyone! A big sorry to all of you for not posting for a long time. Its not that my life has been really mundane...actually its quite the opposite - from the start of summer and my internship to my parents visit...thts why no time to write...
i will be back soon! till then - miss me :P
PS: A big hello to my three frequent blog readers (you know who you are)
i will be back soon! till then - miss me :P
PS: A big hello to my three frequent blog readers (you know who you are)
Monday, June 8, 2009
Miss her!
So I don't know what but for the past few days, I have been missing someone! It's strange but I tried to suppress it even from myself but I am just not able to come in terms with it.
Till few weeks back, I used to be in constant touch with that person every single day and we used to talk about our usual day to day lives. And now for the past few days, we have completely gone out of touch! I am sure she does come online, etc, etc but for some reason, we haven't spoken for a while.
I do feel like calling her sometimes, but then I think it just wouldn't be appropiate. Perhaps, with the situation we both are in, it would just make it slightly weird! She is busy with her own life and I don't want to butt in and spoil it!
Yet, as days pass by, I realize I miss her more and more. I don't know what this means, but I JUST hope it's not that! Coz if it is that, then it would be really really unfortunate!
Till few weeks back, I used to be in constant touch with that person every single day and we used to talk about our usual day to day lives. And now for the past few days, we have completely gone out of touch! I am sure she does come online, etc, etc but for some reason, we haven't spoken for a while.
I do feel like calling her sometimes, but then I think it just wouldn't be appropiate. Perhaps, with the situation we both are in, it would just make it slightly weird! She is busy with her own life and I don't want to butt in and spoil it!
Yet, as days pass by, I realize I miss her more and more. I don't know what this means, but I JUST hope it's not that! Coz if it is that, then it would be really really unfortunate!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Someone once said...
Well...final's week has almost started and I am in no mood to study..pata nahi kyu... for some reason my mind has been wavering off in different directions...and especially toward the "girl/relationship" topic! ahh..there we go again!
Sometimes, I try to analyze myself. What kind of a person I am from a girl's perspective? How females usually perceive me when they meet me? Do they find me charming or attractive? Or am I a bore? Do I get their attention or not? I just wonder. When I was in school, I didn't have much confidence in this topic but as I have grown over the years, I seem to have become more bold and mature towards the opposite sex...
Recently, two girls have made comments about me...well..this is apart from the adorable one (thts a whole different story)...nowadays...a lot of conversations with friends seem to revolve around marriage and relationships...so one weekend, i had gone out for lunch with this girl and we were just discussing about her and her bf and their plans...and after that i sighed looking back at my situation in terms of finding tht perfect girl...and tht girl just said.."A****, come on, you don't need to worry...i mean, you are from S*****, you have a BMW, you are smart! what else would a girl need!...every girl dreams of getting a person like you." My response was "Ya right!"... then there was this another girl who I spoke to over phone...she went like "A****, you have such an impressive profile, from S**** , etc, etc and yet you are so down to earth...you dont have that attitude...if I wd have been in ur position...i tho would have gotten so proud, etc, etc."
I dont know what these comments meant..i mean, well ya, it seems like something good...i am not trying to boast or something..i know i am not perfect...but i just wonder the gravity of the comments since i have got some treatment from certain people that makes me feel like shit... i had started to wonder, why on one hand i am like every girl's dream guy..and on the other hand, i am treated like as if im some kid or wtever....I have started to HATE it when someone tries to treat me like a kid since tht reminds me of a lot of things of the past....
and just very recently, i think i have able to resolve this within me...i have realized certain things and have started to take certain steps...this means that there would be a change in behaviour in me but then i think i need this change...
and to those two girls, i have one simple question.... if I am really that good...if I am really the ideal guy, then WHY CAN'T I BE WITH THE GIRL I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH?
Sometimes, I try to analyze myself. What kind of a person I am from a girl's perspective? How females usually perceive me when they meet me? Do they find me charming or attractive? Or am I a bore? Do I get their attention or not? I just wonder. When I was in school, I didn't have much confidence in this topic but as I have grown over the years, I seem to have become more bold and mature towards the opposite sex...
Recently, two girls have made comments about me...well..this is apart from the adorable one (thts a whole different story)...nowadays...a lot of conversations with friends seem to revolve around marriage and relationships...so one weekend, i had gone out for lunch with this girl and we were just discussing about her and her bf and their plans...and after that i sighed looking back at my situation in terms of finding tht perfect girl...and tht girl just said.."A****, come on, you don't need to worry...i mean, you are from S*****, you have a BMW, you are smart! what else would a girl need!...every girl dreams of getting a person like you." My response was "Ya right!"... then there was this another girl who I spoke to over phone...she went like "A****, you have such an impressive profile, from S**** , etc, etc and yet you are so down to earth...you dont have that attitude...if I wd have been in ur position...i tho would have gotten so proud, etc, etc."
I dont know what these comments meant..i mean, well ya, it seems like something good...i am not trying to boast or something..i know i am not perfect...but i just wonder the gravity of the comments since i have got some treatment from certain people that makes me feel like shit... i had started to wonder, why on one hand i am like every girl's dream guy..and on the other hand, i am treated like as if im some kid or wtever....I have started to HATE it when someone tries to treat me like a kid since tht reminds me of a lot of things of the past....
and just very recently, i think i have able to resolve this within me...i have realized certain things and have started to take certain steps...this means that there would be a change in behaviour in me but then i think i need this change...
and to those two girls, i have one simple question.... if I am really that good...if I am really the ideal guy, then WHY CAN'T I BE WITH THE GIRL I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH?
Monday, June 1, 2009
So much...yet so empty!
sorry for the huge gap in the post...past one week have kept me really busy with my project work...My partner and I are working non-stop and finally we are converging to a solution :)
Apart from my project, quite a few things happened...some in an emotional form and some in my day to day life...Yesterday night, DJ Aqeel performed in town so went there...music was good, but I think DJ Suketu was better...plus crowd was really weird...
Over the past few days...i have realized a lot of things...i have found out many things, some of which surprised and confused me. There were some expectations that were not met and some "non-expectations" that came to me by surprise...
i need to take certain steps and paths which i dont know where it would take me to...yet i need to decide quickly...i think i am going to be diving into something big and i want to give something one LAST try...however, i am uncertain...and uncertain about its outcome...a part of me tells me to let go yet another part of me tells me something else...o well!
on the lighter side...one thing i def. should keep doing is go to the gym :) ... its strange how people (especially girls) look at you and treat you "physically" at the subconscious level...sometimes its quite flattery....well...for eg...once (i am going to be really vague to retain privacy) while dancing in a party...a girl came quite close to me...usually i dont like getting cozy with girls on the dance floor just for the heck of it! i usually dance by myself...but while i was dancing...she did something tht came to me by surprise!...i was certainly flattered but then at the same time uncomfy! O Well! Now, I wonder if that girl would have treated me the same way, had i been like I was before...
someone, once told me, i was like an "overgrown baby"...sometime back, thinking of this would affect me a lot negatively....however, now i think i should thank her for making that statement to me! I wouldn't be what I am today if she never treated me the way she did!
so many things seem to be happening the past few days...yet somewhere down within, I feel lonely...empty...
i wish there was someone i could call...someone i could hold hands with...someone i could go out for a walk (or a drive) and someone i could be certain about things...
Apart from my project, quite a few things happened...some in an emotional form and some in my day to day life...Yesterday night, DJ Aqeel performed in town so went there...music was good, but I think DJ Suketu was better...plus crowd was really weird...
Over the past few days...i have realized a lot of things...i have found out many things, some of which surprised and confused me. There were some expectations that were not met and some "non-expectations" that came to me by surprise...
i need to take certain steps and paths which i dont know where it would take me to...yet i need to decide quickly...i think i am going to be diving into something big and i want to give something one LAST try...however, i am uncertain...and uncertain about its outcome...a part of me tells me to let go yet another part of me tells me something else...o well!
on the lighter side...one thing i def. should keep doing is go to the gym :) ... its strange how people (especially girls) look at you and treat you "physically" at the subconscious level...sometimes its quite flattery....well...for eg...once (i am going to be really vague to retain privacy) while dancing in a party...a girl came quite close to me...usually i dont like getting cozy with girls on the dance floor just for the heck of it! i usually dance by myself...but while i was dancing...she did something tht came to me by surprise!...i was certainly flattered but then at the same time uncomfy! O Well! Now, I wonder if that girl would have treated me the same way, had i been like I was before...
someone, once told me, i was like an "overgrown baby"...sometime back, thinking of this would affect me a lot negatively....however, now i think i should thank her for making that statement to me! I wouldn't be what I am today if she never treated me the way she did!
so many things seem to be happening the past few days...yet somewhere down within, I feel lonely...empty...
i wish there was someone i could call...someone i could hold hands with...someone i could go out for a walk (or a drive) and someone i could be certain about things...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
The BMW Card :)
So tonight, I got a really pleasant surprise. After I reached home late at night, I saw an envelope lying on top of my table. It was addressed, "To, Dearest 'Anshu'man" with a smiley. I opened the envelope and it was a very cute card from my two dearest friends out here for me getting a new car. How so sweet of them! The gesture deeply touched my heart!
The card was really cute. It had this superman symbol. Actually, the previous owner was a fan of superman I suppose, since the car had a lot of superman stickers. And this superman card just added to the charm of my new car.
I have realized how small things such as these affect me. I mean, its such a small gesture but it had such a huge impact. Perhaps, people are so selfish and self-centered in today's world and one seldom finds people such as these two! I am lucky to have friends like them.
To you both, I just want to say that I love you! Thanks for being there always!
The card was really cute. It had this superman symbol. Actually, the previous owner was a fan of superman I suppose, since the car had a lot of superman stickers. And this superman card just added to the charm of my new car.
I have realized how small things such as these affect me. I mean, its such a small gesture but it had such a huge impact. Perhaps, people are so selfish and self-centered in today's world and one seldom finds people such as these two! I am lucky to have friends like them.
To you both, I just want to say that I love you! Thanks for being there always!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Perhaps my ideal girl...
So I got this forward from a friend of mine and I really liked it!
Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now my responses. (Original sentences followed by my responses in italics)
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
Well, I would make sure that we cook together. And perhaps surprise her with my decent cooking skills. I would teach her to cook in the most loving way possible and ask her to pay tuition for the cooking lessons with a kiss :)
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
I would like to change this sentence to "One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, AS MUCH AS you do for 20-25 years of her life"
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.
In return, I would become a part of her family and make sure she gets all the love from her family through me. I would also make sure that she does not really leave behind everything for me.
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
Well, I would make sure she gets up after I wake up. Would make sure my shadow never leaves her. Would cook along with her. Perhaps I could do all the cooking and tell my family she cooked. (unless the food sucked) :)
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
I already said enough of cooking. Would make sure she never gets a chance to complain. And if ever she is frustrated, I would make sure she throws up on me, hit me, punch me, take out all her anger and frustration out on me ...just in return for a tight hug from me to tell her that everything is OK...you are in my arms now :)
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
What if I say, "Lets invite your buddies for dinner tonight?:)"
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
I would drink and dance with her and carry her to bed and most importantly protect her.
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
Would def. make sure that she gets a yummy dinner that night:)
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;
And I would love her infinitely times more for that and make sure that she NEVER sheds a tear!
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
To this, I would make sure that when she gets up every morning, she realizes how much the person lying next to her loves her so much and cannot live a single moment without her. I would give her ALL THE LOVE possible...would just pour it out!, protect her from all the evils and be her BEST FRIEND for life!
Enjoy!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now my responses. (Original sentences followed by my responses in italics)
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements.
Well, I would make sure that we cook together. And perhaps surprise her with my decent cooking skills. I would teach her to cook in the most loving way possible and ask her to pay tuition for the cooking lessons with a kiss :)
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
I would like to change this sentence to "One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, AS MUCH AS you do for 20-25 years of her life"
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name.
In return, I would become a part of her family and make sure she gets all the love from her family through me. I would also make sure that she does not really leave behind everything for me.
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen
Well, I would make sure she gets up after I wake up. Would make sure my shadow never leaves her. Would cook along with her. Perhaps I could do all the cooking and tell my family she cooked. (unless the food sucked) :)
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more, and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
I already said enough of cooking. Would make sure she never gets a chance to complain. And if ever she is frustrated, I would make sure she throws up on me, hit me, punch me, take out all her anger and frustration out on me ...just in return for a tight hug from me to tell her that everything is OK...you are in my arms now :)
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
What if I say, "Lets invite your buddies for dinner tonight?:)"
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
I would drink and dance with her and carry her to bed and most importantly protect her.
One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;
Would def. make sure that she gets a yummy dinner that night:)
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;
And I would love her infinitely times more for that and make sure that she NEVER sheds a tear!
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
To this, I would make sure that when she gets up every morning, she realizes how much the person lying next to her loves her so much and cannot live a single moment without her. I would give her ALL THE LOVE possible...would just pour it out!, protect her from all the evils and be her BEST FRIEND for life!
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