Hello everyone! A big sorry to all of you for not posting for a long time. Its not that my life has been really mundane...actually its quite the opposite - from the start of summer and my internship to my parents visit...thts why no time to write...
i will be back soon! till then - miss me :P
PS: A big hello to my three frequent blog readers (you know who you are)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
Miss her!
So I don't know what but for the past few days, I have been missing someone! It's strange but I tried to suppress it even from myself but I am just not able to come in terms with it.
Till few weeks back, I used to be in constant touch with that person every single day and we used to talk about our usual day to day lives. And now for the past few days, we have completely gone out of touch! I am sure she does come online, etc, etc but for some reason, we haven't spoken for a while.
I do feel like calling her sometimes, but then I think it just wouldn't be appropiate. Perhaps, with the situation we both are in, it would just make it slightly weird! She is busy with her own life and I don't want to butt in and spoil it!
Yet, as days pass by, I realize I miss her more and more. I don't know what this means, but I JUST hope it's not that! Coz if it is that, then it would be really really unfortunate!
Till few weeks back, I used to be in constant touch with that person every single day and we used to talk about our usual day to day lives. And now for the past few days, we have completely gone out of touch! I am sure she does come online, etc, etc but for some reason, we haven't spoken for a while.
I do feel like calling her sometimes, but then I think it just wouldn't be appropiate. Perhaps, with the situation we both are in, it would just make it slightly weird! She is busy with her own life and I don't want to butt in and spoil it!
Yet, as days pass by, I realize I miss her more and more. I don't know what this means, but I JUST hope it's not that! Coz if it is that, then it would be really really unfortunate!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Someone once said...
Well...final's week has almost started and I am in no mood to study..pata nahi kyu... for some reason my mind has been wavering off in different directions...and especially toward the "girl/relationship" topic! ahh..there we go again!
Sometimes, I try to analyze myself. What kind of a person I am from a girl's perspective? How females usually perceive me when they meet me? Do they find me charming or attractive? Or am I a bore? Do I get their attention or not? I just wonder. When I was in school, I didn't have much confidence in this topic but as I have grown over the years, I seem to have become more bold and mature towards the opposite sex...
Recently, two girls have made comments about me...well..this is apart from the adorable one (thts a whole different story)...nowadays...a lot of conversations with friends seem to revolve around marriage and relationships...so one weekend, i had gone out for lunch with this girl and we were just discussing about her and her bf and their plans...and after that i sighed looking back at my situation in terms of finding tht perfect girl...and tht girl just said.."A****, come on, you don't need to worry...i mean, you are from S*****, you have a BMW, you are smart! what else would a girl need!...every girl dreams of getting a person like you." My response was "Ya right!"... then there was this another girl who I spoke to over phone...she went like "A****, you have such an impressive profile, from S**** , etc, etc and yet you are so down to earth...you dont have that attitude...if I wd have been in ur position...i tho would have gotten so proud, etc, etc."
I dont know what these comments meant..i mean, well ya, it seems like something good...i am not trying to boast or something..i know i am not perfect...but i just wonder the gravity of the comments since i have got some treatment from certain people that makes me feel like shit... i had started to wonder, why on one hand i am like every girl's dream guy..and on the other hand, i am treated like as if im some kid or wtever....I have started to HATE it when someone tries to treat me like a kid since tht reminds me of a lot of things of the past....
and just very recently, i think i have able to resolve this within me...i have realized certain things and have started to take certain steps...this means that there would be a change in behaviour in me but then i think i need this change...
and to those two girls, i have one simple question.... if I am really that good...if I am really the ideal guy, then WHY CAN'T I BE WITH THE GIRL I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH?
Sometimes, I try to analyze myself. What kind of a person I am from a girl's perspective? How females usually perceive me when they meet me? Do they find me charming or attractive? Or am I a bore? Do I get their attention or not? I just wonder. When I was in school, I didn't have much confidence in this topic but as I have grown over the years, I seem to have become more bold and mature towards the opposite sex...
Recently, two girls have made comments about me...well..this is apart from the adorable one (thts a whole different story)...nowadays...a lot of conversations with friends seem to revolve around marriage and relationships...so one weekend, i had gone out for lunch with this girl and we were just discussing about her and her bf and their plans...and after that i sighed looking back at my situation in terms of finding tht perfect girl...and tht girl just said.."A****, come on, you don't need to worry...i mean, you are from S*****, you have a BMW, you are smart! what else would a girl need!...every girl dreams of getting a person like you." My response was "Ya right!"... then there was this another girl who I spoke to over phone...she went like "A****, you have such an impressive profile, from S**** , etc, etc and yet you are so down to earth...you dont have that attitude...if I wd have been in ur position...i tho would have gotten so proud, etc, etc."
I dont know what these comments meant..i mean, well ya, it seems like something good...i am not trying to boast or something..i know i am not perfect...but i just wonder the gravity of the comments since i have got some treatment from certain people that makes me feel like shit... i had started to wonder, why on one hand i am like every girl's dream guy..and on the other hand, i am treated like as if im some kid or wtever....I have started to HATE it when someone tries to treat me like a kid since tht reminds me of a lot of things of the past....
and just very recently, i think i have able to resolve this within me...i have realized certain things and have started to take certain steps...this means that there would be a change in behaviour in me but then i think i need this change...
and to those two girls, i have one simple question.... if I am really that good...if I am really the ideal guy, then WHY CAN'T I BE WITH THE GIRL I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH?
Monday, June 1, 2009
So much...yet so empty!
sorry for the huge gap in the post...past one week have kept me really busy with my project work...My partner and I are working non-stop and finally we are converging to a solution :)
Apart from my project, quite a few things happened...some in an emotional form and some in my day to day life...Yesterday night, DJ Aqeel performed in town so went there...music was good, but I think DJ Suketu was better...plus crowd was really weird...
Over the past few days...i have realized a lot of things...i have found out many things, some of which surprised and confused me. There were some expectations that were not met and some "non-expectations" that came to me by surprise...
i need to take certain steps and paths which i dont know where it would take me to...yet i need to decide quickly...i think i am going to be diving into something big and i want to give something one LAST try...however, i am uncertain...and uncertain about its outcome...a part of me tells me to let go yet another part of me tells me something else...o well!
on the lighter side...one thing i def. should keep doing is go to the gym :) ... its strange how people (especially girls) look at you and treat you "physically" at the subconscious level...sometimes its quite flattery....well...for eg...once (i am going to be really vague to retain privacy) while dancing in a party...a girl came quite close to me...usually i dont like getting cozy with girls on the dance floor just for the heck of it! i usually dance by myself...but while i was dancing...she did something tht came to me by surprise!...i was certainly flattered but then at the same time uncomfy! O Well! Now, I wonder if that girl would have treated me the same way, had i been like I was before...
someone, once told me, i was like an "overgrown baby"...sometime back, thinking of this would affect me a lot negatively....however, now i think i should thank her for making that statement to me! I wouldn't be what I am today if she never treated me the way she did!
so many things seem to be happening the past few days...yet somewhere down within, I feel lonely...empty...
i wish there was someone i could call...someone i could hold hands with...someone i could go out for a walk (or a drive) and someone i could be certain about things...
Apart from my project, quite a few things happened...some in an emotional form and some in my day to day life...Yesterday night, DJ Aqeel performed in town so went there...music was good, but I think DJ Suketu was better...plus crowd was really weird...
Over the past few days...i have realized a lot of things...i have found out many things, some of which surprised and confused me. There were some expectations that were not met and some "non-expectations" that came to me by surprise...
i need to take certain steps and paths which i dont know where it would take me to...yet i need to decide quickly...i think i am going to be diving into something big and i want to give something one LAST try...however, i am uncertain...and uncertain about its outcome...a part of me tells me to let go yet another part of me tells me something else...o well!
on the lighter side...one thing i def. should keep doing is go to the gym :) ... its strange how people (especially girls) look at you and treat you "physically" at the subconscious level...sometimes its quite flattery....well...for eg...once (i am going to be really vague to retain privacy) while dancing in a party...a girl came quite close to me...usually i dont like getting cozy with girls on the dance floor just for the heck of it! i usually dance by myself...but while i was dancing...she did something tht came to me by surprise!...i was certainly flattered but then at the same time uncomfy! O Well! Now, I wonder if that girl would have treated me the same way, had i been like I was before...
someone, once told me, i was like an "overgrown baby"...sometime back, thinking of this would affect me a lot negatively....however, now i think i should thank her for making that statement to me! I wouldn't be what I am today if she never treated me the way she did!
so many things seem to be happening the past few days...yet somewhere down within, I feel lonely...empty...
i wish there was someone i could call...someone i could hold hands with...someone i could go out for a walk (or a drive) and someone i could be certain about things...
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